There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork [...]
A married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest, “I had an affair with a woman… almost.” The priest says,
“what do you mean almost?” The man says, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together but then I stopped.”
The priest replies, “Rubbing together is the same as it in. You’re not to [...]
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one
question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made [...]
The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, “Sir, if you don’t stop poking me with your thing, I’m going to the cops!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about miss – that’s just [...]
WIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor.” HUSBAND: “Water in the carburettor? That’s ridiculous.”
WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.” HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburettor is. I’ll check it out.
Where’s the car?”
WIFE: “In the pool.”
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her Lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there [...]
A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper
covering his genitals. The little girl said, “What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?” The man said, “Nothing, it’s just a bird, now go away!”
The man thought nothing of her and [...]
I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, “I’m another year older,” but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, “Happy birthday, dear.” All smiles, I [...]
“That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the
housewife told a neighbor.
“You didn’t do it, did you?”
“I have to admit I did — though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven’t done, though, is tell my husband the rent
is [...]
Through the kitchen window a farmer’s wife sees her son coming home from school. The boy’s in a bad mood, and as he crosses the field he kicks a pig. He walks a little further and kicks a cow. Once inside, his mother says, “I saw what you did, young man! For kicking the pig [...]
